Not That Man Anymore
ELIJAH’S POV:
He answered on the third ring with the voice of a man who had been awake for a while but was not going to mention it. “I saw it,” he said, without any other greeting. “I was waiting for you to call.”
I sat down on the kitchen floor with my back against the island. That is not a thing I typically do. I am not a floor- sitting person as a general rule. But in that moment the floor felt like the right place to be. Closer to solid ground. I went to the cabinet,” I said.
“I know,” he said. “That is why you called.”
“I put it down.” I didn’t have to hide anything, he basically knows everything about the past me. He is my very best friend.
“I know that too,” he said. “Or you would not be calling. You would be doing the other thing.”
I leaned my head back against the island. “It has been a long time since I felt that.”
“Yeah,” he said. “Hard days bring old feelings. That is not new information, Elijah. It does not mean anything except that it was a hard morning.” A pause. “You put it down and you called. That is the whole story. Everything else after that is just what happens next.”
“I have a board meeting tomorrow,” I said. “The press is already circling. Hannah’s launch is in less than two weeks.”
“Yeah,” he said again and I heard him shift on the other end of the line. “You want me to come over?”
“No,” I said. “I am okay. I just needed to say it to someone.”
“That is what I am here for,” he said. “Call me again if you need to. Does not matter when.”
“Thank you, Jacob.”
“Stop,” he said, in the way he always said stop when I was about to say something he considered unnecessary. Just eat something. You sound like you have not eaten.”
I had not eaten. I had been on the phone for two hours on an empty stomach and now that he mentioned it I was
“Tell her hi back.”
“Already planned on it,” he said. “Now. Go and eat something. You sound hollow and you are not going to solve anything on an empty stomach. That is not me being poetic, that is just a fact.”
“Go eat,” he said. “And call me if you go back to that cabinet.”
“I will not go back.” I mean it.
“I know,” he said. “But call me anyway if you do.”
We hung up and I sat on the kitchen floor for another minute. Then I got up and made toast and eggs and ate standing at the counter because I was not entirely ready to sit at the island like a normal person yet and that felt like a reasonable compromise.
By the time I heard Hannah’s footsteps on the stairs I had finished eating, washed the plate, and was back on my phone responding to emails. I looked up when she came in.

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