TEMPORARY MATES PERMANENT CRAVINGS novel Chapter 70

Seventy

Lase

I’d been feeling like shit since the conversation with Evangeline that morning

Not the kind of shit where you could pinpoint exactly what hurt. But an ache that settled into my bones and refused to leave

She’d begged me not to take him from her.

On the verge of tears, voice shaking, hands trembling, It made me feel like a monster.

She was right.

There was no future between Cameron and me. That much was obvious. It had been obvious from the start. He was mated. I was hired. And nothing could change that

But I’d let myself forget that somewhere along the way.

I wouldn’t lie to myself about one thing, though. I enjoyed sex with him.

It was dangerous and addictive. The kind of thing that rewired your brain until you couldn’t remember what normal felt like anymore.

I was the other woman

I was doing to Evangeline exactly what my father had done to my mother. Inserting myself into a relationship that wasn’t mine. Justifying it with contracts and necessity and all the other bullshit excuses people use when they know they’re doing something wrong but don’t want to stop. 2

I felt sick.

I gave myself a stern warning, Get pregnant. Fulfill the contract. Leave.

Stop making Evangeline uncomfortable. Stop letting myself hope for things that would never happen. Stop being selfish

That conversation with Evangeline should have shaken me awake weeks ago. But apparently I needed to hear her actually beg before my brain would accept reality.

Better late than never, I guess.

Cameron wasn’t home most of the day.The rogue situation had escalated. He was coordinating patrols and checking border security.

Evangeline and Nadia had gone to the specialist hospital for the consultation.

I stayed home. Didn’t go to the nursery. Didn’t leave my room except to eat. In the afternoon, I forced myself to go check on my mother.

She was in good spirits. The first surgery had been a success. Her vision in the right eye had stabilized, which the doctors said was a massive win. They were already preparing for the second stage.

My mother was going to get her life back.

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“You look tired,” she said, reaching for my hand across the hospital bed.

“I’m fine. I’m just glad you’re doing well. That’s what matters.”

“You matter too, honey.”

I squeezed her hand and didn’t respond to that. We sat in comfortable silence for a while. Then I kissed her forehead and told her I’d be back tomorrow.

Cameron was already home whend got back.

I saw his car in the driveway and my stomach did that stupid flip it always did. I went straight to my room. The knock came twenty minutes later.

I knew it was him before I opened the door.

“Can I come in?”

I should have said no, reminded him about boundaries. I stepped aside and let him in.

He closed the door behind him and looked at me. He looked like he was carrying too much weight and didn’t know where to put it down.

“How’s your mother?”

“Good. The doctors are optimistic about the next stage.’

“That’s good.”

Silence.

Then, “We need to have sex.”

I blinked. “What?”

“You’re not pregnant yet. We need to keep trying.”

He was right. That’s what this was. A contract. A job. Something we both needed to fulfill regardless of how complicated it had gotten.

“Okay,” I said.

I wanted to play it cool and prove to myself that I could do this without getting emotional. The moment he touched me, I was gone.

His hands on my waist. His mouth on my neck. The weight of his body pressing me back against the wall. I couldn’t stop myself. I was addicted to this. To him. 1

The foreplay was intense.

More intense than it had ever been. He stripped me slowly. Kissed every inch of exposed skin. Used his mouth and hands and the weight of his body to drive me out of my mind.

Then he dropped to his knees.

I’d been eaten out before. Once. And it had been fine. This was different.

Cameron’s mouth on me was deliberate, like he’d spent time thinking about how to take me apart and had come prepared with a strategy.

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He used his tongue the way Sera had demonstrated in the workshop. Flat pressure across my clit. Then the tip. Then flat again. Building the sensation in layers instead of rushing straight to the end.

I’d never felt pleasure this strong before. I never understood what people meant when they talked about losing themselves in sensation until I was gripping his hair and gasping his name and trembling so hard I thought my legs would give out.

He made me come twice before he even took his clothes off.

By the time he finally stripped and positioned himself between my legs, I was wrecked.

And then he fucked me.

Rough.

Rougher than he’d been before. But I did like it.

I loved it, actually.

My body opened for him and welcomed the force. He gripped my hips hard enough to bruise and drove into me like he was trying to fuck away everything that was falling apart around us.

“Harder,” I heard myself gasp. “Please, Cameron, harder.”

He froze, startled.

Then his eyes went dark and his grip on my hips tightened and he gave me exactly what I’d asked for.

Harder. Rougher. The kind of sex that left handprints on my hips.

“Fuck,” he growled against my neck. “You feel-”

He didn’t finish the sentence. He buried his face in my shoulder and pounded into me with an intensity that made coherent thought impossible.

We were loud and reckless.

His knot swelled. Locked us together. And the orgasm that tore through me was so intense I actually screamed.

Cameron’s hand moved in slow circles on my hip. Right where his fingers had dug in.

“Did I hurt you?” he asked.

“No.”

“You asked me to go harder.”

“And I meant it.” I turned my head toward him.

The knot loosened. And there it was. The hollow feeling. The one that always came after. Like something had been taken instead of given.

“I hope this gets me pregnant so you can focus on your family.” 1

His hand stopped. His breathing changed. The space between us tightened.

“Lisa.”

“I mean it.” I stared at the wall. “Evangeline needs you. The sooner I’m pregnant, the sooner this ends. You can go

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Seventy

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back to your life.”

He scoffed. “Is that what you want?”

“What I want doesn’t matter.”

He pulled away. He dressed without looking at me. I stayed there. In sheets that sinelled like him. I stared at the ceiling and tried to breathe and figure out how to walk away when every part of me wanted to follow him.

How to stop loving someone I was never meant to love.

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