TEMPORARY MATES PERMANENT CRAVINGS novel Chapter 41

Forty-One

CAMERON

Evangeline stood in the doorway staring at us.

Guilt hit me hard and cold.

Lisa scrambled off the desk so quickly she nearly lost her balance before catching herself against the wall across. the room.

I stayed where I was.

My shirt was open, my pulse still racing from the kiss, and I could do nothing except stare at my mate and feel like the worst bastard alive.

Evangeline stepped inside slowly. Her gaze moved between us, taking in everything. My rumpled clothes. Lisa pressed against the wall. The heavy silence that followed the door closing behind her.

“What is going on?”

Her voice trembled. Then her eyes returned to me.

“You’re kissing her now?”

The accusation landed like a blow.

“Lisa, leave us,” I said sharply.

“No.”

Evangeline lifted her hand without looking away from me.

“There’s no need for her to leave. I think we all know exactly what’s happening here.”

Lisa remained against the wall, her back rigid.

Evangeline turned toward her.

“I trusted you,” she said quietly. “I gave you very clear instructions about how this arrangement was supposed to work. No kissing. No intimacy beyond what was necessary for conception. I thought you understood.”

“She did understand,” I cut in. “This wasn’t her fault.”

“Wasn’t it?”

Evangeline’s gaze stayed on Lisa.

“You’re a beautiful girl, Lisa. Young. Desirable. And my mate is a powerful male who hasn’t been able to touch his own mate properly in months. Did you really think he wouldn’t be tempted? Did you really not see what you were doing?”

“I didn’t,” Lisa said quietly. “I wasn’t trying to-”

“I kissed her,” I said. “I broke the rule. Not Lisa. Me. If you’re angry, be angry with me.”

Evangeline finally looked at me.

The pain in her eyes hollowed something in my chest.

1/8

Forty On

“It didn’t mean anything,” I said quickly. “Eva, I swear, it won’t happen again.”

Her gaze dropped to Lisa’s neck.

The totem rested against her collarbone.

Evangeline’s expression hardened.

+15 Bghus

“What is that?”

Lisa touched the pendant instinctively. “I… it’s-”

“That’s the Alpha’s totem,” Evangeline said sharply. “Not the standard pack mark. The one reserved for family. For mates. For people under your direct claim.”

She turned toward Lisa.

“Take it off.”

“Evangeline, she needed protection-‘

“Take. It. Off.”

Lisa fumbled with the clasp and pulled the chain free. She stepped forward and held it out toward me, her hand shaking.

I didn’t take it.

“She was almost assaulted yesterday,” I said. “She went for a run outside the estate and rogues found her in neutral territory. Without a totem they had every right to attack.”

“Because she asked for it,” Evangeline snapped. “She left the estate without any sense. And now you reward that stupidity by giving her your totem? By kissing her?” Her voice cracked. “By humiliating me?”

“You’re not humiliated.”

“Then what am I supposed to think?” Tears spilled down her cheeks. “What am I supposed to feel when I walk in and find my mate with another woman?”

“I’m sorry,” Lisa said quietly. “I never meant to-

“Just go,” Evangeline said without looking at her. “Get out of my sight.”

Lisa didn’t argue. She moved past us and left the room quickly.

The door shut.

Silence filled the study.

Evangeline stood there shaking, tears running down her face.

“Eva-”

“You’re enjoying it now.”

The accusation hung between us.

I wanted to deny it.

2/8

But the truth stuck in my throat.

“Please calm down,” I said, stepping toward her. “Getting upset isn’t good for you.”

“Don’t.”

She held up her hand.

“Don’t you dare use my illness to dismiss this.”

“I’m not dismissing-”

“You are!” she snapped. “You’re acting like I’m overreacting. When what I saw was my mate with his hands on another woman. Kissing her. Looking at her the way you used to look at me.”

“That’s not true.”

“Isn’t it?”

Her laugh was bitter.

“I’m not blind, Cameron. I see the way you look at her.”

Guilt twisted in my gut.

Because she wasn’t entirely wrong.

Lisa’s body gave me something I couldn’t find in my mate’s bed anymore.

But that wasn’t love.

It was biology.

Evangeline was sick. Sex between us had become complicated.

That was all.

“I love you,” I said. “You’re my mate. The Moon Goddess chose us. Nothing with Lisa changes that.”

“Then why does it feel like you’re cheating on me?”

The question cut deeper than anything else she had said.

“I’m not-”

“You are.”

She wiped her face.

“Maybe not according to the contract. But in every way that matters, you’re betraying me.

“Eva-”

I reached for her.

She stepped back.

“I can’t believe this is my life,” she whispered. “I’m dying and my mate is-”

Her voice broke.

3/8

orty One

+15 Bonus

“It’s my fault, isn’t it? I can’t give you what you need anymore. Of course you’d look for someone younger. Healthier.” 1

“Stop.”

I pulled her into my arms before she could move away.

“Please, Eva.”

She collapsed against my chest and sobbed.

I held her there, stroking her hair while murmuring reassurances I barely believed myself.

Eventually her crying slowed.

I lifted her chin.

“I love you,” I said again. “Only you.”

I leaned down to kiss her.

She turned her face away.

“Don’t kiss me with the mouth you used on her.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Are you?” she asked quietly. “Or are you just sorry you got caught?”

Before I could answer she started coughing.

The cough tore through her chest, violent and relentless. She doubled over and grabbed the wall for support.

The coughing turned into gagging.

I grabbed the wastebasket from beside the desk.

She vomited into it. Bile. Blood. The remains of her lunch.

“Fuck,” I muttered, holding her upright and pushing her hair back from her face. “You’re okay. Just breathe.”

Her body heaved again before the vomiting stopped.

When she straightened she looked gray and exhausted.

“I need to get you to bed.”

I lifted her into my arms and carried her down the hallway to her room.

She buried her face against my shoulder and cried quietly.

I laid her on the bed, grabbed the medication from the nightstand, and helped her swallow the pills.

“Don’t leave me,” she whispered as I started to stand.

“Please, Cameron.”

“I won’t.”

“I’m going to die without you,” she murmured. “And you’ll forget me and move on with her.”

4/8

“No.”

I climbed into the bed beside her and pulled her against my chest.

“That isn’t happening. I’m right here.”

She finally drifted into an uneasy sleep.

I lay awake beside her staring at the ceiling.

And hated myself.

+15 8gnus

The next few hours were hell.

My temper snapped at everything. I barked at pack members for minor mistakes. Dismissed routine questions with a growl. At one point I hurled a paperweight at the wall hard enough to leave a dent in the plaster.

Everyone kept their distance.

Everyone except Nadia.

She cornered me in the hallway outside, the council chamber.

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Nothing.”

“Bullshit.” She folded her arms. “Are you catching feelings for Lisa?”

“No.”

“Cameron-”

“I said no. I’m mated to Evangeline. She’s my soulmate. How could I possibly have feelings for someone else?”

“I don’t know,” Nadia said. “But you’re acting like someone who does.”

I turned away from her.

“If that’s the case,” she continued, “you need to send Lisa away before this gets worse.”

“It isn’t going to get worse.”

“Isn’t it?” She stepped in front of me. “You gave her your personal totem. You were kissing her in your office. Evangeline is devastated. And you’re pacing around the estate like a trapped animal.”

“I know.”

“Do you?” Nadia asked. “Because from where I’m standing it looks like you don’t.”

She shook her head.

“Evangeline is sick, Cameron. She loves you. She’s sacrificing everything to try to give you an heir. And this is how you repay her?” 2

“I’m not trying to hurt her.”

“But you are.”

5/8

“orty-One

+15 Bonus

Her voice softened.

“You’re hurting her. You’re hurting yourself. And you’re hurting that girl. Stop touching Lisa outside the scheduled times. Stop acting like she’s anything more than a surrogate.”

She paused.

“You don’t even need to sleep with her every day. It only takes once for someone to get pregnant. Back off before you destroy everything.”

She walked away.

Franklin stood near the door when I returned to my office.

I was already on my second whiskey, staring at paperwork I hadn’t read.

He sat down across from me.

“You want to talk about it?”

“No.”

Silence stretched between us.

“If I’d known it would get this serious,” I muttered, “I never would have agreed to the surrogate arrangement.”

“What do you really feel about Lisa?” Franklin asked.

“My feelings don’t matter.”

“Don’t they?”

“No.”

I looked up at him.

“All that matters is Evangeline. Keeping her stable. Keeping her alive as long as possible. Getting the heir we need.”

Franklin studied me carefully.

“You’re allowed to feel things.”

“Does Evangeline smell different to you?” I asked abruptly.

He frowned.

“What?”

“Her scent. Have you noticed anything strange?”

“No,” he said slowly. “She smelled normal this morning. Why?”

Because to me she smelled like rot.

Like sickness.

Like something dying.

But I couldn’t say that.

6/8

Torty-One

+15 Bonus

“Forget it.”

Franklin leaned back.

“I don’t blame you for being attracted to Lisa. She’s beautiful. Smart. And you’re in an impossible situation.’

“That doesn’t make it right.”

“No,” he agreed. “But it makes it human.’

He stood.

“If it really means nothing, then treat it that way. Keep your distance. Stick to the schedule.”

I nodded.

“And Cameron,” he added quietly, “be faithful to Evangeline. Not just physically. In your intentions.”

“I know.”

“Do you?”

“Yes,”

He left.

I sat there staring at the empty whiskey glass and forced myself to make a promise.

No more kissing.

No more touching outside the schedule.

No more blurred lines.

Li

sa was a contract.

A means to an end.

That was all she would ever be.

I just had to keep reminding myself.

No matter how much my wolf howled.

No matter how much my body wanted her.

No matter how much the bond with Evangeline felt like it was slowly tearing apart.

I would be faithful.

I would be strong.

I would be the mate Evangeline deserved.

Even if it killed me.

7/8

forty wa