Two hundred and eighty five
Wesley POV
I stared at the opposite wall and my teeth chattered as Grandma Cassidy swabbed cold antiseptic across my lower back.
Another treatment.
Another reminder that something inside me was broken.
Three women from the chapter house stood around the room. Joanna, their leader, held a syringe up to the light, turning it slightly as she checked the contents. Beside the bed sat the same leather strap Dad insisted on bringing every fortnight. On the metal trolley rested a basin, gauze, sealed vials, and neatly arranged instruments.
I tried to slow my breathing, but every visit ended the same way. My body knew what was coming long
before she touched me.
Dad moved to my right shoulder. Uncle Franklin took hold of my legs. Mom stood close enough to wipe my face the moment it began.
Grandma Cassidy remained beside Joanna, quietly preparing the next vial while Anita and Aunt Nadia
waited near the wall.
Emma wasn’t here.
She hadn’t been able to make herself come back after the first time. She’d dreamed about it for three
nights afterward, waking up crying every time.
I couldn’t even blame her.
“Ready?” Grandma Cassidy asked softly.
I let out a scoff.
“How can I be?”
Joanna pushed the air out of the syringe.
“You’re a champion, son. You can take it.”
Easy for her to say. She’d never been the one lying on this table.
Uncle Franklin reached for the folded leather strap and handed it to Dad.
I didn’t take it. I hadn’t used it all year. If I couldn’t endure this without biting down on leather, then I hadn’t learned anything.
The injection always went into the same place, just to the left of my spine, where years of treatments had left thick scar tissue beneath my skin. The area had darkened so much that it barely looked like my
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back anymore.
Joanna pressed the needle in.
Fire exploded through my body. I buried my face in the pillow as every muscle locked.
It felt as though something had been driven straight into my spine before spreading through every nerve I possessed.
A strangled cry escaped me before I could stop it.
The worst part wasn’t even the pain. It was Mom’s tears. I refused to look at her. I’d learned that lesson years ago: seeing her tears hurt more than the injections ever could. Since then, I’d trained myself to stare anywhere else.
Another wave of pain tore through me.
My wolf slammed against whatever separated us, desperate to break free. I felt him clawing at the edges of my mind, furious at being forced back down every single month.
Dad tightened his grip on my shoulder.
“It’s almost over,” Mom whispered, dabbing the sweat from my forehead with a damp cloth.
I heard Anita’s breathing catch. Against my better judgment, I glanced toward her.
She’d turned her face away, her whole body trembling.
I hated that she came.
No matter how many times we told her to stay away, she never listened.
The elders called it a phantom bond. Somehow my pain reached her even without a completed mate bond. Nobody could explain why.
Which made her choice even harder to understand.
The pain surged again, and this time I couldn’t hold back the scream.
My wolf’s rage snapped against its restraints, throwing every ounce of strength it had at my human side.
Dad grunted and Franklin dug his heels into the floor. One of Dad’s guards stepped closer, ready to help
if I broke free.
Eventually the struggle eased as the suppressant forced my wolf down.
Joanna withdrew the needle, cleaned the injection site, spread a cooling ointment over the swollen skin, and secured fresh gauze across the scar.
“Sit him up.”
Dad and Uncle Franklin helped me into a sitting position.
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Grandma Cassidy sealed the empty vial and placed it inside a metal container before pulling a blanket around my shoulders.
I swallowed hard.
“Why?”
Nobody answered.
I laughed bitterly.
“Every single time I come here, why do I have to keep going through this madness?”
Uncle Franklin gave my shoulder a firm squeeze with the same hand that ended where his ring finger
should have been.
“If you’re going to yell every treatment, at least start charging us admission. Might as well make the chapter house some money.”
Grandma Cassidy laughed, and even Dad smiled.
Franklin joked whenever the room became too heavy. He’d lost that finger on the night of my first shift. He never once held it against me.
Mom brushed her fingers through my hair before pulling me gently against her.
I let her. I was too exhausted to pretend I didn’t need comfort.
Anita crossed the room and sat beside me. Without saying anything, she slipped her hand into mine.
Joanna peeled off her gloves and dropped them into the waste bin.
“Meet me in my office after family bonding.”
No apology or acknowledgment of what she’d just put me through. Maybe she believed apologies had no place in medicine. Maybe she’d done this for so many years that she’d stopped having a heart.
Family bonding lasted less than fifteen minutes.
The suppressant burned beneath my skin, leaving a dull ache that spread across my lower back every time I shifted in my seat. I wanted nothing more than to go home, lock myself in my room, and sleep until
tomorrow. Instead, Joanna had called for another meeting.
One by one, everyone rose and left the room.
Dad looked at me.
“Ready?”
“As if I have a choice.”
He smiled faintly. Mom slipped her hand around mine as we climbed the stairs.
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“Come on, son,” she said softly, rubbing the back of my hand with her thumb. “Let’s just hear what she has to say.”
“You know there’s nothing positive she’s going to say.” I didn’t bother lowering my voice. Joanna’s office door stood open at the end of the hallway. “It’s always the same bullshit.”
“I’m standing right here,” Joanna said without looking up.
Her office hadn’t changed in years. Shelves lined one wall from floor to ceiling, filled with books that looked older than I was. The opposite wall displayed framed certificates and photographs. Her desk sat beneath the window, always covered with stacks of folders.
Everyone found a seat except Mom and me. She waited until I finally dropped into a chair before taking
the one beside me.
Joanna set a kettle on the warmer, poured hot water into a cup, added dried leaves, and waited for them
to steep.
“You want some?” she asked without looking at me.
I ignored the question.
She chuckled to herself and took the first sip.
After another unhurried drink, she reached for the pile of files on her desk.
Mine was on top.
The same brown folder.
It had followed me since my first shift at thirteen. Every treatment, every episode, every failed attempt, every note about my wolf had been stuffed inside until the folder was thick enough to rival a textbook.
I hated looking at it.
If someone like Brandon ever got his hands on that file, he’d have enough ammunition to destroy my reputation before breakfast.
Fortunately, chapter house records weren’t something outsiders could access. The sisters guarded them like sacred scripture.
Joanna opened the folder.
“How are you, child?”
I glared at her.
“Don’t call me that.”
She chuckled.
“And asking me how I am isn’t even a real question. It’s just your way of wasting everybody’s time before
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we get to the bad news.”
“Wesley,” Mom said quietly.
Dad shot me a warning look.
“What?” I snapped. “Did I lie?”
Joanna rested both hands on the desk.
“You’ve always been a rude brat,” she said. “I’ve never expected politeness from you after treatment.”
Grandma Cassidy laughed.
“Son, I’m as pained as you are that you have to go through this every fortnight,” Joanna said. “But there are wolves who would give anything just to have suppressants that work this well. Some lose themselves completely. Some go rabid and never come back.”
I stared past her shoulder.
None of that changed what happened to me every two weeks.
Joanna closed the folder.
“We’ve managed to keep your wolf alive and keep your human mind in control.” She folded her hands together. “What we haven’t managed to do is reconnect the two.”
She said it so simply, as though reconnecting two halves of a broken soul was something you could schedule between lunch and dinner.
“We’ve continued our research into the Meridian curse,” she said. “My sisters and I have reviewed every record we could find over the last few months, and we’ve reached the same conclusion. Medicine, suppressants, exercise, and meditation are keeping you alive, but they aren’t curing you.”
“And how is that news? Are you also going to remind me that I’m the first child to survive a Meridian attack without losing my mind? Then you all tell me nobody knows how to fix me. I’m still waiting for the part that’s supposed to be encouraging.”
Joanna didn’t argue. “You’re right. We have been saying it for years. What has changed is where the research is pointing us.”
Joanna met my eyes.
“We still believe finding your mate is essential.”
I laughed. I couldn’t think of anything more useless she could have told me.
“The bond between mates is unlike any other,” she said. “We believe it may succeed where suppressants
cannot.”
I leaned back and winced, forgetting the fresh wound on my back.
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“Do you know how many wolves don’t even bother looking for mates anymore?”
She remained silent.
“People marry who they love now. Half the pack rejects the bond if it gets in the way of their lives.”
“That’s true. But your situation isn’t theirs. Your wolf isn’t merely damaged, Wesley. He’s fractured. The bond may be the one thing capable of helping the two halves recognize each other again.”
I rubbed a hand over my face.
“And how am I supposed to find someone I don’t know when my wolf spends most of his time trying to
kill me?”
Joanna hesitated.
“You’ll know.”
“That’s your answer?”
“The bond has ways of making itself known.”
“So we’re relying on hope.”
“We’re relying on nature.”
“No woman in her right mind would willingly choose this.” I tapped my own chest. “Someone who needs
to be tied down twice a month. Someone who can’t even trust his own wolf.”
“I’m not asking you to argue with reality,” Joanna said calmly. “I’m asking you not to close the door before it’s even opened.”
She looked around the room before continuing.
“From today onward, everyone in this family should remain alert. Whoever Wesley’s mate is, we need to find her.” She paused. “Or him.”
Franklin snorted. “I don’t think that’s likely.”
Joanna ignored him.
“If they’re already committed elsewhere, we’ll deal with that when the time comes. If they’re from another faction, we’ll deal with that too. Whatever obstacles exist, we’ll overcome them.”
Mom shifted in her chair.
“There’s something you should know.”
Joanna looked at her.
“Wesley is publicly courting someone.”
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Mom gave me a look that clearly said, *Go along with it.*
Right.
Barbara.
I’d almost forgotten we were still pretending.
“Who is she?” Joanna asked.
“Barbara,” Mom answered when I didn’t speak. “She’s from a respected family.”
Grandma Cassidy added, “She’s his late lover’s twin.”
“I see.”
Joanna’s gaze didn’t leave mine.
“Do you care about this girl?”
The way she was looking at me, I felt something dangerously close to panic.
If I answered too quickly, it would sound rehearsed. If I hesitated too long, someone would notice.
“I do,” I said.
“And if you find your mate?”
“That’s a very big if.”
“It doesn’t answer my question.”
I huffed.
“If that day ever comes, then Barbara deserves the truth.”
Joanna nodded.
“Good.”
She folded her hands again.
“Don’t rush into the future simply because you feel pressured to reach the next milestone. If you’re serious about Barbara, be honest with her.”
She held my gaze for another moment.
“And pray. Whether you believe the bond matters or not, pray that the person your heart is truly meant for finds you. Being Alpha will earn you respect. It won’t heal what’s broken inside you.”
Dad quietly reached into his jacket, placed a thick envelope on Joanna’s desk, and slid it toward her.
She accepted it without ceremony and tucked it into a drawer before standing to see us out.
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I knew the money paid for research, supplies, and keeping the chapter house running, yet it still irritated me every single time.
Every envelope felt like another receipt for a cure that never came.
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