TEMPORARY MATES PERMANENT CRAVINGS novel Chapter 19

Nineteen

Lisa POV

Cameron stood in the hallway, tall and broad–shouldered, his dark eyes resting on me with a distant look.

I stood there blocking the doorway, forgetting how to move while he simply waited. The silence stretched long enough for embarrassment to settle in.

“I’m sorry,” I said, stepping aside and pulling the door wider.

He walked past me without speaking. His presence settled into the room immediately as he glanced around, the way someone looks at a task they’ve been putting off and finally have to finish. I shut the door behind him and turned to face him. 1

I reached for the tie of my robe. The knot loosened under my fingers and the fabric slipped from my shoulders before sliding to the floor.

Next came the lingerie. I unhooked the bra and let it drop, then pushed the underwear down my legs and stepped out of it. When I straightened again, I stood completely exposed and forced myself to keep my arms at my sides.

Cameron looked at me. The glance passed quickly enough that someone else might have missed it, and his expression never changed.

For a moment I wondered if bonded people could ever feel anything for anyone else. The thought made my stomach tighten.

“This is your last chance to back out. If you stay, I’m not responsible for what happens.”

I straightened. “I’m ready.”

I even stepped closer and lifted my hand toward him before Evangeline’s instructions flashed through my head.

Don’t touch him.

Don’t kiss him.

My hand stopped halfway. Cameron frowned, then seemed to understand.

“Don’t touch me unless I ask,” he said. “Understood?”

“Yes.”

My voice sounded small even to me.

“Do you want to back out?” he asked again.

“No. I signed the contract.”

He nodded toward the bed. “Lay down. Prep yourself.”

I hesitated. “Prep?”

“The lube. Use it.”

Understanding landed hard. I moved to the bed and picked up the bottle from the nightstand. This humiliation hadn’t been part of the mental rehearsal.

I squeezed some into my palm and reached between my legs. Doing this alone had always been private, but now I could feel him watching.

I finished quickly and lay back on the bed.

“Touch yourself,” Cameron said.

I turned my head toward him. “What?”

He stepped closer. “Touch yourself. I don’t have all night.”

The demand settled heavy in the room. I closed my eyes and brought my hand back between my legs. The lubricant made everything slick as I found my clitoris and tried to move the way I did when I was alone.

But this wasn’t the same. There was no privacy and no safety, only pressure.

I forced myself to keep going and tried to imagine somewhere else, with someone who wanted me. Someone watching because it turned him on, not because he needed proof that I agreed to

this.

Just as sensation began to build, Cameron’s hand replaced mine.

I jerked.

“If you’re not ready, there are other replacements.”

“I’m sorry,” I said quickly. “I’m ready.”

He spread my legs wider and began touching me himself. His movements surprised me. Careful. Controlled. Almost like he was trying not to hurt me,

His face told a different story. He looked irritated as though every second of this cost him something.

Despite the fear, my body reacted. Heat gathered between my legs, real wetness this time, not just lubricant. I hated that it happened.

He stroked himself and added more lube. He wasn’t fully hard yet, but he looked like he didn’t care. I focused on the ceiling while the mattress dipped as he climbed onto the bed and settled between my legs.

Then I felt him at my entrance.

“I called you three times. You didn’t answer. There’s an emergency.”

An ambulance waited at the entrance. I caught a glimpse of Evangeline on a stretcher, pale beneath the blanket while Cameron ran beside it, gripping her hand as the paramedics loaded her inside.

Then the doors slammed.

The ambulance pulled away.

Silence settled over the mansion.

I stood there in my robe, trying to process what had just happened. The timing felt impossible to ignore. The moment he was about to enter me his mate collapsed.

Was the bond reacting?

Had we done something that hurt her?

The thought struck hard enough that I had to grip the railing. I’d heard stories growing up. People said the mate bond could react violently if it was threatened.

A few minutes ago I had been lying naked in his bed while his hands moved over me. Now she

was in an ambulance.

Guilt settled deep in my chest. I wrapped my arms around myself.

This felt wrong.

If her illness didn’t kill her, maybe breaking the bond like this would.

I wondered if there were rules for something like this. Rituals. Precautions mates followed when they allowed another person into their bond.

I sent Sasha a message and waited.

No reply.

Calling felt impossible. I didn’t trust my voice.

I went back inside, locked the balcony door, and climbed into bed. The sheets still smelled like lubricant.

I turned onto my side and stared at the wall.

I hated this.