My Stepbrother's Dirty Little Secret novel Chapter 641

Chapter 641

There wasn’t a single dramatic word, no speech, no grand declaration, just simple facts that Raphael believed more than feelings.

I continued to stare at Mom, “…I can’t cry. I want to but nothing is happening. Everyone else cried. I just… I stand here. I keep waiting for it. I keep thinking maybe the next second… and then nothing.”

Raphael answered after thinking for a while, “Your brain knows she’s gone. I don’t think the rest of you has accepted it yet.”

I frowned slightly.

“When something hurts enough… the mind sometimes slows everything down. It lets you function first, breathe first, stand first. The feelings usually arrive later. They don’t disappear. They wait.”

I listened carefully.

“You aren’t failing to grieve. You simply haven’t reached it yet.”

I wanted to believe him. I really did but another thought slipped into my head. I looked up at him.

“You told me that when your mother died, you never cried. You still haven’t.”

He nodded once.

I searched his face, “Then, how do I know I’m not becoming like you? How do I know I’ll ever cry?”

His eyes lowered to Mom, then he looked back at me, “You don’t but you aren’t me. You feel everything, sometimes too much. I usually understand my emotions after I’ve already made decisions. You understand yours while they’re happening.”

He looked down at me carefully, pulling me closer if that was possible.

“I don’t think your tears are gone. I think they’re still trying to find their way through everything else.”

I looked back down at Mom.

Her hands were folded exactly the way she’d always folded mine whenever I fell asleep as a little girl.

I waited for the tears, for the pain, for anything but nothing came. I simply stood there beside my mother, staring at the woman who had loved me first.

And wondering why my heart felt so unbearably full…

Yet my eyes remained completely dry.

Footsteps approached behind us. Salvatore stopped beside me. For a few seconds, he simply looked at Mom. His shoulders seemed lower than they had ever been. There were dark circles beneath his eyes.

Very carefully, he rested one hand against my upper arm.

His hand squeezed my arm softly, “I’m here for you.”

The words should’ve comforted me. Instead, they only reminded me of yesterday. Yesterday Mom had still been alive. Yesterday he had asked me to leave Raphael.

Yesterday still existed.

Today…

Mom didn’t.

Salvatore finally looked toward Raphael, “People are watching,” he said quietly. “You shouldn’t be standing this close to her. Not today.” His eyes flickered toward me before returning to Raphael. “Stay with the guests for a while. I’ll stay with Gianna. Her and Jules are my responsibility now.”

For the first time since he’d walked over. Raphael moved. He calmly reached up and wrapped his fingers around Salvatore’s wrist, lifted Salvatore’s hand away from my arm. When he let go, Salvatore’s hand fell back to his own side.

Raphael stepped half a pace closer to me, “I’ve got Gianna. You should be with your guests. I don’t care who watches us.”

Salvatore’s jaw hardened, “I’m trying to help. This isn’t the place to make… whatever this is… obvious.”

“It already is,” Raphael replied without hesitation, “People can think whatever they like. It has never influenced a single decision I’ve made.”