The Rose He Killed novel Chapter 48

Chapter 42:Coming To An Agreement

Bella pov

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“Because you can influence how it happens,” Jennifer said. “You can work with him to create a schedule that minimizes disruption to Tom’s life. You can set boundaries about where visits happen, who supervises them, how Caleb is introduced. Or you can fight him every step of the way, spend hundreds of thousands in legal fees, put Tom through months of evaluations and court appearances, and end up with the same result but with everyone hurt and angry.”

I stared at the custody petition on her desk, at the legal language that reduced my son to a minor child and my years of sacrifice to parental alienation.

“What would you do?” I asked. “If Tom was your son, what would you do?”

Jennifer was quiet for a long moment. “I’d be terrified too. I’d want to protect him from someone who hurt me so badly. But Bella, I’d also think about what Tom will ask me in ten years when he finds out I kept his father from him, will I have a good answer?”

The question hit like a punch to the gut because I knew the answer. No matter how much Caleb had hurt me, no matter how justified my anger, keeping Tom from his father wasn’t about protecting Tom. It was about punishing Caleb. And Tom deserved better than to be a weapon in a war he didn’t start.

“Fine,” I said, the word feeling like defeat. “I’ll meet with him tomorrow. I’ll listen to his proposal. But Jennifer, I need you to promise me something.”

“What?”

“If he hurts Tom, if he disappoints him or lets him down or treats him the way he treated me, you help me disappear. No questions asked.”

Jennifer looked at me for a long moment, then nodded. “If Caleb Black proves he’s the same man who threw you out years ago, I will personally help you and Tom disappear so thoroughly he’ll never find you. But Bella, you have to actually give him a chance first. A real chance.”

“One chance,” I said. “That’s all he gets.”

“One chance is all anyone gets,” Jennifer agreed. “Let’s just hope he doesn’t waste it.” /

I gathered my things and went to the waiting room where Tom was building a tower out of blocks while Maya watched.

“All done?” Maya asked, reading my expression.

“For now.” I held out my hand to Tom. “Come on, baby. Let’s go get that pizza.”

“Yay!” Tom jumped up, scattering blocks everywhere. “Can I get pepperoni?”

“You can get whatever you want,” I said, squeezing his hand.

In the elevator, Tom chattered about the dogs he’d seen at the park while I stared at our reflection in the mirrored walls. Mother and son, a complete unit, a team.

13

Chapter 42-Cathing To An Agreement

“Mommy?” Tom tugged on my hand. “Why do you look sad?”

“Just thinking, baby.”

“About what?”

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I looked down at his innocent grey eyes, so much like his father’s, and felt tears threatening. “About how much I love you.”

“I love you too, Mommy.” Tom hugged my leg. “You’re the best mommy in the whole world.”

“I’m trying to be,” I whispered, more to myself than to him.

We went to Tom’s favorite pizza place, the one with the arcade games and the animatronic animals that sang off-key. Tom dragged me to every game, begging for quarters, laughing when he won tickets. I watched him be joyful and carefree and completely trusting that his mother would always protect him.

Tomorrow, I’d have to start explaining why I couldn’t protect him from this.

After dinner, while Tom played in the ball pit, Maya sat across from me with serious eyes.

“Jennifer told me about the custody petition,” she said quietly. “How are you really doing?”

“I feel like I’m drowning,” I admitted. “Everything I built, everything I did to keep Tom safe, it’s all falling apart.”

“Or maybe it’s finally coming together,” Maya said gently. “Bella, you’ve been running for years. Maybe it’s time to stop running and face this.”

“I’m not running,” I protested. “I’m protecting my son.”

“From what?” Maya challenged. “From a father who wants to know him? From a man who’s spent years searching for you? From someone who might actually love Tom as much as you do?”

“He can’t love Tom,” I said. “He doesn’t even know him.”

“Then let him get to know him,” Maya said. “Let him prove he’s worthy of being Tom’s father. And if he fails, if he disappoints Tom or hurts him, then you’ll have every right to cut him out. But Bella, you have to give him the chance first.”

۴

I watched Tom climb through the ball pit, his face flushed with happiness, and felt something in my chest crack open.

“What if I’m wrong?” I whispered. “What if I’ve been wrong this whole time, and Caleb really does want to be a good father? What if I’ve kept them apart for nothing?”

“Then you apologize to both of them and move forward,” Maya said simply. “Bella, you’re not a villain for protecting your son. But you’re not a hero for keeping him from his father either. You’re just a scared mother trying to do her best. And that’s okay.”

“It doesn’t feel okay,” I said. “It feels like I’m betraying Tom by even considering this.”

“You’d be betraying him by not considering it,” Maya said. “Tom deserves to make his own decisions about his father. Maybe not now, but someday. And when that day comes, don’t you want to be able to say you at

23

Chapter 42 Coming To An Agreement

least tried?”

Before I could answer, Tom came running over, sweaty and grinning. “Mommy, can we come back tomorrow?”

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